


Trial and Error

by Todesengel



Category: Voltron: Lion Voltron
Genre: Other, Pheromones, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-15
Updated: 2011-08-15
Packaged: 2017-10-22 16:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/239916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Todesengel/pseuds/Todesengel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sixty-seventh time's the charm</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trial and Error

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [JoAnn/Randi collab](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/4172) by randi2204. 



Sven was pretty sure that this time he had it. He’d checked, double-checked, triple checked, and tested Pheromone 66 on a pair of rather unsuspecting and very surprised lab rats. He’d splashed a bit of the mixture on himself, and Old Tom, the big, ugly, evil cat who more or less ran the place and raped anything that moved -- including small vehicles -- had followed him around for two days, rubbing up against his leg and acting like a fluffy little kitten instead of the hell beast that he was. And that hadn’t even been with the use of the complementing aphrodisiac he’d cooked up.

This _had_ to work on Keith.

Sven sprayed a bit of the pheromone on himself and palmed the little vial containing the aphrodisiac he planned to slip in Keith’s coffee. He checked himself in the mirror, brushed an errant lock into place, and grinned. He looked good, if he did say so himself. Sven opened the door and stepped out, eyes lit by a light that would have been insanity if he hadn’t had the certificate proving that he was in perfect mental health. He looked down the busy corridor and dropped into an arrogant stroll, back straight but limbs loose and limber, and headed for the cafeteria, leaving a trail of lust behind him.

*

Sven watched Keith carefully, watched as Keith swallowed a mouthful of his doctored coffee, ate a bite of his aphrodisiac-laced sandwich. Any minute now, he should begin to look flushed, eyes dilated in lust.

Any minute now.

Any. Minute.

"Excuse me." A hand tapped Sven on the shoulder and he waved the person away; he had no time to bother with insignificant flies. "Excuse me," the person said again, and then Sven was _yanked_ around to face the lust-flushed expression of an upper-classman. He was kind of cute, Sven couldn't help but notice, but whatever physical charm he might have had was certainly outweighed by his rudeness.

"Yes?" Sven said, in his chilliest voice.

"I love you," the boy said, and he moved forward as if to kiss Sven, who managed to dodge just in time, getting his lunch all over the back of his clothes in the process.

"Who _are_ you?" Sven pushed his chair between their two bodies.

"I love you!" the boy cried again. "You're mine! Only mine!" He lunged across the chair and Sven let him go by, then grabbed his lunch tray and slammed it into the back of the boy's head. The boy collapsed with a groan and Sven turned away, considering the matter closed; he had far more important issues to deal with than some crazed youth professing undying love.

Issues that looked exactly the same now as they did when this minor fracas started.

"Sven," Keith said calmly. "People are staring. What did you do?"

"Why do you assume I had something to do with this?"

"Because you only get attacked by lust-crazed suitors after you've dosed yourself with another one of those weird aphrodisiacs of yours." Keith took a sip of his coffee and sighed. "I thought this tasted funny. You spiked my food again, didn't you."

Sven opened his mouth to protest, then decided it wasn't worth the effort. "Yeah. So. Is it working?"

Keith looked down, then at Sven and shook his head. "Nope. Unless the only thing this one does is make my coffee taste like there's chocolate in it."

"Johnny!" The high-pitched cry drowned out any response Sven might have made and he turned just in time to see a very irate girl bearing down on him. "You! What did you do to him?!"

"He attacked me -- " Sven began, but it was already too late.

The girl's fist made a loud _chunk_ as it connected with his nose. Through the haze of pain, Sven saw her wind up for another blow and he braced himself as well as he could, knowing from long experience that it'd be over sooner if he didn't dodge. She caught him in the eye this time, and inwardly he sighed, knowing that he was going to have one hell of a black eye tomorrow. He fell to one side, his ears ringing and, damn it, who was this girl?

"Miss?" Keith's voice sounded far away and Sven squinted his good eye, trying to force the spinning world into a cohesive whole. "Don't you think that's enough?"

"He did something to my Johnny," the girl hissed and Sven suddenly wished he hadn't made the world quite so clear as he had a perfect view of the girl's rising foot heading straight for his crotch.

"Yes, and don't you think you should get him to the infirmary? He might have a concussion."

The girl stopped in mid-swing and Sven let out a small sigh of relief. She turned away and in her distraction, Keith bent down and hauled Sven upright.

"Time to leave," Keith said and Sven just nodded his agreement, which made Keith frown. "Stop that. You're bleeding on my shirt."

"Who was that?" Sven held tightly to Keith's hand, trusting him completely, his head tilted up in a vain attempt to stop his nose from bleeding.

"Captain of the women's boxing team."

"Crap."

"One of these days you're going to get killed for this shit -- stairs coming up -- and you'll deserve it."

"It's my sacred duty --" Sven began and then stopped with a _whumpf_ as he ran into Keith's back.

"Sacred duty nothing. You're just insane."

"Am not. And I've got a certificate saying so and everything."

Keith snorted and Sven risked lowering his head just enough to see the exasperated expression on his face, before a pair of larger hands wrapped themselves around his shoulders and the all too familiar voice of the Academy physician filled his ears.

"Looks like another one of your experiments got out of hand again, eh Sven?" The doc stripped him with the efficiency of long practice and shoved him under the safety shower.

"Well how was I to know that there was going to be a couple in love around?" Sven cast a baleful eye at Keith, who just smirked as he watched Sven get scrubbed down. "It wouldn't have happened if Keith would just tell me which planet he's from."

"Never going to happen. I happen to like being able to control my lust, thank you." Keith turned to doc. "When can I pick him up?"

"Oh we should have him all patched up by supper time." Sven yelped as the doc gently probed his nose. "Lucky for him his nose is just bruised, not broken."

"It still hurts!"

"Thank you. I'll come by and pick him up then." Keith bowed, slightly, and turned to leave. "Behave yourself Sven," he called over his shoulder.

"Well. I hope you've finally gotten it into your head that playing around with pheromones is a dangerous hobby."

"Yes sir," Sven said, not really listening. He was pretty sure he knew where he'd gone wrong this time, and what he needed to do to correct his mistake.

After all. Sixty-seventh time's the charm.


	2. Epilogue 1

Keith made sure the bathroom door was well and truly locked before he stripped down and got into the shower. He made the water as cold as he could and yet he still had to jerk off twice before his arousal stopped being painful and started being manageable.

He still had to jerk off a third time before he stopped being hard.

"Damn Tester," he muttered into the spray. He turned the hot water on and ran his hands through his hair. It had been close today; if that boy hadn't managed to pull Sven's attention away, Keith was positive he would have given in. And then where would he be? Seventeen years of training wasted, all for a quick moment of physical gratification and then Sven would be off on his next challenge.

He shook his head, pushed his hair out of his eyes. Well. There was no reason to think of this as a negative experience. As the monks always said, adversity breeds resolve, and if Keith could keep to his oath in the face of Sven and his pheromones then he could handle anything.

What was seven more years of celibacy, after all?

Keith leaned his forehead against the warm tiles of the shower and tried not to cry.


	3. Epilogue 2

Keith knelt in the middle of the circle, his breath even, his mind clear. He stared across at his Master and let himself feel no impatience at being kept waiting so long, even though his knees were starting to cramp. What was earthly pain, after all, but yet another tie to the Wheel of Suffering.

"You have returned to us, child. And what have you learned from the Outside?"

"Patience, Master, and strength."

"And what have you taught?"

"Restraint."

"And have you fulfilled your oath?"

"Yes, Master."

The old man nodded and closed his eyes. Keith felt a tingle pass through his body, and he kept his breathing easy. The old man opened his eyes. "Yes. You have, haven't you." He smiled, kind and gentle, and Keith wasn't fooled for an instant. "You must have had your patience tried quite often."

"Adversity breeds resolve, Master."

"And now that you know the truth? Now that you have been told that your purpose was to watch this Tester, to keep him alive? What do you feel?"

"Nothing, Master, except I am pleased you thought me worthy enough of so honored a task."

"You've learned how to speak and say nothing, haven't you boy."

"I don't know what you mean, Master."

"Of course you don't." The old man stood and clapped his hands, and the single light that had been shining down on Keith vanished and the normal lighting of his master's house returned. "Well. You have proven yourself to be an apt pupil boy. It is indeed an honor to invest you with the rank of Ninth Uenin."

"Thank you, Master." Keith stood, carefully, and stretched out his legs. "And what commands do you give me now?"

"Oh we'll think of something, don't you fear." The old man clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll contact you on Arus. All you really need to do now is keep an eye on that Tester."

"Yes, Master." Keith bowed his head, slightly and coughed. "Um. Master. About the celibacy..."

The old man cackled. "Want to see if those Testers are really everything they're cracked up to be, eh? Don't worry, there's no shame in admitting that; I wondered the same thing with the first Tester I watched over." He nudged Keith in the ribs and waggled his bushy eyebrows, and Keith really wished he wouldn't do that because it was all really rather embarrassing. "Well, you've proven that you can resist his drugs, and if you can resist those you can probably resist anything that's thrown out you. So, go on. Get laid. Just be sure you use a condom, eh? Can't have you catching some nasty venereal disease, right?"

"Master, I didn't mean--"

"Of course you did, boy!" The old man grinned and Keith just knew that the next time the High Council met the old man was going to gleefully tell them all about his horny young pupil.

Ah well. Adversity breeds resolve, after all. And right now, he was fully resolved to go forth and get laid.

Unfortunately, when he got back to Arus, it became quite readily apparent that he was the only one who held this particular resolve, re: copious amounts of sex with himself in the staring role.

*

Pidge stared at the vials that lined Sven's wall in rapt fascination. He'd never seen so many chemicals before -- certainly never quite so many black-market ones gathered together in one place. But.

"Are you sure this is absolutely necessary?" he asked Sven. "I mean, he _did_ say we should just ask him."

"With Keith," Sven said, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on very carefully allowing only two drops of some shimmering green liquid to fall into the beaker he had bubbling over the Bunsen burner, "I've found that it's best to do things big. And that there's no such thing as overkill."

"And so this drug --"

"Pheromone number two hundred seventy six."

"Whatever. So you think that this is going to work?"

Sven stepped away from the beaker and removed his gas mask. "Trust me. It's my most potent one yet."

*

Pidge put his foot down after Pheromone number 301 got them landed in the county jail for 'the corruption of minors'. True, he was learning a lot more about sex now than he had been before they started using Sven's Pheromones but. "No more drugs."

"But." Sven looked around at his vials. "But!"

"No. More. Drugs." Pidge turned off the Bunsen burner and gently led Sven away from his Mad Scientist (tm) set up. "We're going to do this the old-fashioned way. Chocolates. Flowers. Lewd suggestions."

"But." Sven looked around nervously, even though it was just him and Pidge. "I've never done it with out my Pheromones before."

Pidge raised an eyebrow. "Really?" He grinned. "Don't you think it's about time you learned?"


End file.
